दुर्गादत्त मास्साब कर्नल रंजीत के जासूसी उपन्यासों के सबसे बड़े पाठक थे। हर सुबह उन्हें एम पी कालिज के परिसर में आलसभरी चाल के साथ प्रवेश करते देखा जा सकता था। असेम्बली खत्म होने को होती थी जब वे प्रवेशद्वार पर नमूदार होते थे। प्रवेशद्वार से भीतर घुसते ही उन्हें ठिठक कर थम जाना पड़ता था क्योंकि उसी पल राष्ट्रगान शुरू हो जाता था। वे इत्मीनान से आंखें बन्द कर राष्ट्रगान के खत्म होने का इन्तजार करते रहते थे। असेम्बली के विसर्जन के समय प्रिंसीपल साब एक खीझभरी निगाह दुर्गादत्त मास्साब पर डालते थे लेकिन उस निगाह से बेज़ार मास्साब स्टाफरूम की तरफ घिसटते जाते थे। उनके अगल बगल से करीब तीन हज़ार बच्चे हल्ला करते धूल उड़ाते अपनी अपनी कक्षाओं की तरफ जा रहे होते थे। पहली क्लास दस बजे से होती थी और बच्चों के पास उस के लिए पांच मिनट का समय होता था। असेम्बली का मैदान उन पांच मिनटों में धूल के विशाल बवंडर में तब्दील हो जाया करता था।
दुर्गादत्त मास्साब स्टाफ रूम में बड़ी खिड़की से लगी अपनी कुर्सी में किसी तरह अट जाते थे। खिड़की से बाहर बाजार का विहंगम दृश्य देखा जा सकता था। मास्साब के विशाल शरीर के के हिसाब से उनकी कुर्सी बहुत सूक्ष्म थी।वे अपने किसी भी साथी अध्यापक से बात नहीं करते थे। दुर्गादत्त मास्साब प्रिंसीपल के रिश्ते के मामा लगते थे और उन से बात करने की स्टाफ तो दूर खुद प्रिंसीपल साहब की भी हिम्मत नहीं होती थी। इसके अलावा उन्हें पहला पीरियड भी नहीं पढ़ाना होता था। असेम्बली के मैदान जैसा ही दृश्य स्टाफरूम में भी देखा जा सकता था : अपनी अपनी आल्मारियों से अटेन्डैन्स रजिस्टर, किताबें, चॉक और डस्टर आदि जल्दी जल्दी निकालते हुए अपने साथी अध्यापकों की तरफ एक उकताई सी निगाह डालकर मास्साब अपने उपन्यास में डूबने का प्रयत्न करने में सन्न्द्ध हो जाते थे।
दुर्गादत्त मास्साब विज्ञान के मेरे पहले टीचर थे। कक्षा छ:- अ में करीब दो सौ बच्चे थे। कक्षा की दीवारें बहुत मैली थीं और टीन की उसकी छत तनिक नीची थी। ब्लैकबोर्ड के कोनों पर चिड़ियों की बीट के पुरातन डिजायन उकेरे गए से लगते थे। हम लोग फर्श पर चीथड़ा दरियों पर बैठा करते थे। सामने डेस्क होती थी और डेस्क के एक कोने पर स्याही की दवात। पता नहीं कौन हर सुबह इन दवातों को भर जाता था। हम छुट्टी के बाद जब घरों को जाते तो हमारी सफेद कमीजों पर खूब बड़े बड़े नीले धब्बे होते।
एम पी यानी मोतीराम परशादीलाल इन्टर कालिज में वह मेरा पहला दिन था। अपनी ‘होस्यारी’ के कारण मैं कक्षा चार से सीधा छ: में पहुंच गया था। पहली कक्षा के बाद हम अगले मास्साब के आने का इन्तजार कर रहे थे। पहली क्लास अंग्रेजी की थी। हमारी अटैन्डेन्स ली ही गई थी कि अंग्रेजी वाले मास्साब को किसी ने बाहर बुला लिया। हमारी तरफ एक पल को भी देखे बिना अंग्रेजी वाले मास्साब पूरे पीरियड भर अपने परिचित से बातें करते रहे। हम कागज की गेंदें स्याही में डुबो कर एक दूसरे पर फेंकने का खेल खेल रहे थे कि घंटा बज गया। अंग्रेजी वाले मास्साब ने हमारी तरफ एक बार को भी नहीं देखा और वे कक्षा से उपस्थिति रजिस्टर लेकर अगली कक्षा की तरफ बढ़ चले।
लालसिंह हमारी क्लास का सबसे विचित्र लड़का था। वह छठी कक्षा में पांच साल फेल हो चुका था। वह करीब करीब अठारह साल का हो चुका था और उसकी मूंछें भी थीं। वह मेरे बड़े भाई जितना लम्बा था। लेकिन वह एक खास तरह से प्यारा था। अपनी लम्बाई और कक्षा के हिसाब से अनफिट मूंछों पर आने वाली शर्म को छिपाने का प्रयास करता वह हम सब को तमाम अध्यापकों के बारे में चुटकुले सुनाया करता था। उसने हमें बताया कि अपनी अस्तित्वहीन गरदन के कारण अंग्रेजी वाले मास्साब को ‘टोड’ कहा जाता था। मैने करीब करीब तय कर लिया था कि लालसिंह स्कूल में मेरा सबसे पक्का दोस्त बनेगा।
“आ गया, आ गया। भैंसा आ गया।” लालसिंह की चेतावनी सुनते ही हम सब की आंखें दरवाजे पर लग गई। बिना हड़बड़ी के दुर्गादत्त मास्साब क्लास में घुसे और उन्होंने लालसिंह पर एक परिचित निगाह डाली : इस निगाह में मुस्कान की सुदूर झलक थी।
कक्षा अचानक शान्त हो गई थी। दुर्गादत्त मास्साब की विशाल देह ही हमें डरा देने को पर्याप्त थी। और लालसिंह हमें उनके गुस्से के कई किस्से सुना चुका था। लालसिंह तुरन्त खड़ा हुआ और मास्साब के हाथ से रजिस्टर लेकर अटैन्डैन्स लेने लगा। दुर्गादत्त मास्साब ने हमारी तरफ बेरूखी से देखा और अपने कोट की जेब से एक किताब बाहर निकाल ली।
सस्ते कागज पर छपी किताब का चमकीला कवर बहुत आकर्षक था। कद में सबसे छोटा होने के कारण मैं सबसे आगे बैठा हुआ था और उस जादुई किताब को बहुत साफ साफ देख सकता था। अपना चेहरा एक तरफ को थोड़ा सा झुकाए कर्नल रंजीत सीधा मेरी तरफ देख रहा था। उसने काला ओवरकोट और काला ही हैट पहना हुआ था। उसकी तीखी मूंछें ऊपर की तरफ खिंची हुई थीं और आंखों में एक सवाल था। उसके एक हाथ में छोटा सा रिवॉल्वर था। कर्नल का दूसरा हाथ एक अधनंगी लड़की की कमर पर था और वह लड़की कर्नल से चिपकने का प्रयास कर रही दिखती थी। पृष्ठभूमि में लपटें उठ रही थीं और कवर के निचले हिस्से पर एक लाश पड़ी थी। लाश के बगल में खूनसना चाकू था।
कर्नल रंजीत के पास कोई ऐसी दिव्य ताकत थी कि वह एक साथ मुझे और लड़की और लाश को पैनी निगाहों से देख सकता था। यह बेहद आकर्षक था़। मैं सर्वशक्तिमान कर्नल रंजीत के कारनामों के बारे में कल्पनाएं कर रहा था जब दुर्गादत्त मास्साब ने बोलना शुरू किया। अगले आदेश की प्रतीक्षा में लालसिंह अब भी उनकी बगल में खड़ा था।
“मैं तुम लोगों को बिग्यान पढ़ाया करूंगा।”
हम ने विज्ञान की किताब निकाल ली थी और हमारी सांसें थमी हुई थीं।
"कछुआ कितने बच्चों ने देखा है?”
कुछ हाथ हवा में उठे। किताब को थामे हुए मास्साब सीट से उठे और उन्होंने अपना मैला कोट एक बार हल्के से झाड़ा। मेरी आंखें कवर से चिपकी हुई थीं।
“ए तेरा नाम क्या है बच्चे?” वे मेरी तरफ देख रहे थे।
मुझे लगा कि मेरी चोरी पकड़ी गई है और मैं थप्पड़ का इन्तजार करने लगा। डेस्क को देखता हुआ मैं खड़ा हुआ।
"मास्साब … मैं …”
“मास्साब मैं नाम हैगा तेरा?”
मैं कुछ कहना चाहता था पर जीभ पत्थर की हो गई थी। मैं रोने रोने को हुआ कि उनका बड़ा सा हाथ मेरे कन्धे पर था।
“तू वो खताड़ी वाले पांडेजी का लड़का है ना?”
मैंने हां में सिर हिलाया।
“मैंने सुना है कि तू बहुत होशियार है। अब मुझे बता तूने कभी कछुआ देखा है - असली वाला जिन्दा कछुआ”
"नईं मास्साब”
“बढ़िया। कोई बात नहीं। आज सारे बच्चे असली का कछुआ देखेंगे।”
अपने कोट की बड़ी सी जेब में हाथ डालकर उन्होंने पत्धर जैसी कोई गोल चीज बाहर निकाली।
"ये रहा कछुआ। असली जिन्दा कछुआ। लो पांडेजी पकड़ो इसे।” मास्साब द्वारा पांडेजी कहे जाने पर मुझे थोड़ी शर्म आई। मैंने कांपते हाथों से उस कड़ी चीज को पकड़ा।
“अभी कछुआ सोया हुआ है। अगर उसे आराम से खुजाओगे तो ये तुम्हें अपनी शकल दिखा देगा। लालसिंह, चलो मदद करो पांडेजी की।”
जरा भी देर किए बिना लालसिंह ने मेरे हाथों से कछूए को छीन लिया। उसने अपनी अनुभवी उंगली को कछुए के किसी हिस्से में खुभाया और कछुआ खोल से बाहर निकल आया। यह एक चमत्कारिक चीज थी और आगे वाले बच्चे लालसिंह के हाथ के गिर्द इकठ्ठा थे।
“एक एक कर के लालसिंह!” मास्साब वापस अपनी सीट पर थे और उपन्यास पढ़ने में किसी तरह का व्यवधान नहीं चाहते थे।
लालसिंह ने सारे बच्चों को डपटकर सीट पर बिठा दिया और कछुआ मुझे थमाया। कछुआ वापस खोल में घुस चुका था। मैंने भी लालसिंह की तरह उंगली घुसाने की कोशिश की पर कुछ नहीं हुआ। “अब तेरी बारी है” कहकर लालसिंह ने कछुआ मेरे साथ वाले बच्चे को पकड़ा दिया। कक्षा में शोर बढ़ता जा रहा था। पीछे की सीटों के बच्चे अधैर्य के कारण बेकाबू हो गए थे। कछुआ उनकी पहुंच से बहुत दूर था सो उन्होंने आइस पाइस खेलना चालू कर दिया था। जब तक कि अगली कतार के सारे बच्चों को कछुआ देख पाने का अवसर मिलता घंटा बज गया। लालसिंह ने कछुआ मास्साब को सुपुर्द कर दिया।
कुर्सी से सश्रम उठते हुए मास्साब ने हमारी तरफ देख कर कहना चालू किया: “जिनका नम्बर आज नहीं आया वो बच्चे कल कछुआ देखेंगे …।” कक्षा से बाहर जाते हुए उन्होंने कुछ अस्पष्ट शब्द बुदबुदाए जो पिछली कतारों के असंतुष्ट बच्चों के कोलाहल में डूब गए। आगे की क़तार वाले वाले बच्चों के चेहरों पर गर्व था।
अगले पन्द्रह दिन तक लाल सिंह के कुशल निर्देशन में विज्ञान की कक्षा में सारे बच्चे कछुआ देखते रहे। लालसिंह का इकलौता काम यह होता था कि मास्साब और कर्नल रंजीत के दरम्यान कम से कम बाधा हो।
हम शायद अनन्त काल तक उस कछुए को देखते रहते लेकिन उसे इतनी बार देख चुकने के बाद बच्चे उकता चुके थे और जब एक दुर्भाग्यपूर्ण क्षण में कुछ बच्चों ने कछुए के साथ ‘कैच कैच’ का खेल खेलना शुरू किया दुर्गादत्त मास्साब ने अपने ऐतिहासिक गुस्से से हमारा पहला परिचय कराया। जब तक हम कुछ समझ पाते लालसिंह पता नहीं कहां से डंडा लाकर मास्साब को थमा चुका था। साले, हरामजादे, खबीस, बदमाश, ससुरे, सूअर इत्यादि तमाम उपाधियां हमें नवाजते मास्साब के भीतर जैसे किसी चैम्पियन एथलीट का भूत घुस गया था। लॉंग जम्प, हाई जम्प, भालाफेंक, गोलाफेंक और अन्य खेलों में अपना कौशल दिखाते मास्साब डंडे, रजिस्टर और चॉक के टुकड़ों के साथ किसी बेरहम यमराज की तरह कत्लोगारत पर उतर आए थे। उनके सामने जो पड़ा उसकी शामत आई। कई बच्चे एक डेस्क से दूसरी पर कूदते अपनी जान बचा रहे थे। जो ज्यादा स्मार्ट थे वे खिड़की फांद कर बाहर भाग गए।
आठ दस मिनट तक चले इस खून खच्चर के बाद मास्साब फिर से किताब में डूब चुके थे। ज्यादातर बच्चे सुबक रहे थे। लालसिंह जो इस गुस्से को कई दफा देख चुका था एक कोने पर खड़ा बेमन से कछुए के उसी विशेष हिस्से में अपनी उंगली घुसा रहा था।
कछुए में हमारी सारी दिलचस्पी अब खत्म हो चुकी थी। घंटा बजा तो मास्साब इस तरह उठे जैसे कुछ हुआ ही न हो। हमारी जिन्दगानियां लुट चुकी थीं और कछुआ वापस उनकी जेब में था। लालसिंह की तरफ देखते हुए उन्होंने सारी क्लास को संबोधित किया:
“कल हम देखेंगे कि बीकर कैसा होता है और लकड़ी के बारूदे की मदद से बीकर में चने कैसे उगते हैं। …”
उनका हाथ जेब में गया तो संभवत: वहां कछुआ उनकी उंगलियों को छू गया होगा। उन्हें कुछ याद सा आया और बाहर जाते जाते थमते हुए उन्होंने पूछा:
“कछुआ सारे बच्चों ने देख लिया कि नहीं … ”
Top mobile phones you can't live with
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
India's top 25 BPO companies to work at
Merril Diniz, Sumita Vaid Dixit for Careers360
Explore the full spectrum of entry-level job profiles for graduates plus jobs that demand specific postgraduate degrees and the scope for career growth!
programmes -- the most common being the incoming call by a customer using the phone," Tim Huiting, vice president-Human Resources, Convergys says.
"They respond to customers through e-mail or chat, a growing area right now. You are not speaking but it's a live programme. Some programmes are a blend of a call back to a query, an online intervention, plus someone does research and will then call the customer back "
In other words voice is only a component of the industry, albeit a substantially large component. With over 300 big companies, and presence in almost all cities, the sector employs more than a million individuals, with a large posse of frontline staff (known as agents) along with a team of managerial staff.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Who is your client?
A chunk of international clients are based in the US, UK and Australia and include companies in banking and financial services, insurance, healthcare, energy and utilities, manufacturing, communication service providers, retail services and transportation, to name a few.
Typically, agents work in eight-hour shifts, a majority of whom clock in the night shift, due to the time lag, though some in the back office functions also work during the day. For instance, Priya Jayant, senior customer care officer at Convergys, Gurgaon, tackles e-mails sent by customers in the US, relating to their credit cards. She works a day shift.
Getting hired
Stringent background checks, to verify if all information submitted is authentic, is part of the territory since the information handled by agents is sensitive and must be kept confidential.
"We work with NASSCOM-accredited agencies to do background checks on all new recruits. Sometimes recruits lie about companies they have worked with in the past or even try to hide criminal activity," Raghavendra Krishnamurthy, VP and Head HR, Infosys BPO, informs us.
Typically the results come in between 30 and 60 days of joining. So, keep it real. Interestingly, the BPO sector encourages talent from all quarters. Bangalore BPO e-VindhyaInfo's staff comprises 95 per cent differently-abled men and women in the age group of 24-30.
Madhu, a learning & development facilitator at IBM Daksh, is 100 per cent visually impaired, and Amit Jaitley, who despite being afflicted with polio, manages the entire operations of an IBM Daksh centre in Chandigarh. And with the establishing of rural BPOs in villages, rural youth also get on the BPO bandwagon.
The top 25 BPO firms are ranked by consolidating the rankings of industry body NASSCOM and leading IT magazine DATAQUEST that were spread over the last five years (2005 to 2009). We accorded even weights to these two rankings. While NASSCOM ranks 15 firms every year, DATAQUEST lists the best 20 BPOs (DQ listed top 25 and top 40 BPOs in 2006 and 2005, respectively). The firms that figured two times or less in the last five years were ignored as were the firms which appeared only in one publication.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The basic BPO lingo
Get familiar with the sector's popular terminology:
Main actors
Process: Refers to the type of work being outsourced to a BPO
Operations floor: A physical space populated with rows of cubicles and a place of work for the agents and their supervisors. A high security area, cell phones and other mobile devices are banned.
Agent: He/ she is the interface between customer and client, and is responsible for providing resolution, selling products and offering information.
Team Leader: He/she manages a team of 10 to 15 agents. Is responsible for the agent's performance and retention. The team leaders' incentives are tied to the overall performance of their team.
KPO: A BPO offering high-end services or 'domain specific services' to a client.
Entry-level job profiles
There are two categories: voice processes require you to interact with clients or customers via phone, whereas a non-voice process does not.
"By virtue of one's age, the maturity level of a graduate tends to be much higher," says Sunder Ramachandran, MD, WCH Training Solutions.
Service Representatives: Interact with customers over the phone. This could range from informing a customer of his bank balance, credit card payment dates, etc. Most customer service profiles do not require any specialised domain knowledge.
Technical Support: A specialised support, which may require a specific degree or diploma.
Hardware Support: Besides being a graduate, you need a diploma in computers. Most companies providing hardware support will train you on their hardware but you need a basic understanding of computers.
Software Support: Requires additional qualifications like MCSE. Some institutes offer courses in C, C++. The jobs in this domain would involve troubleshooting for operating systems.
Network Support: A specialised field, where you need a certificate course in networking. CCNA is a good course that can fetch you a great career in the Network support.
More roles for graduates
Business analyst: A domain-specific KPO profile, it deals with business or financial analysis. Requires specific academic qualifications like mathematics and statistics. Decent communication skills, due to client interaction.
Financial Support Executives: For a banking/insurance support sector, profile, you must be a commerce graduate with good communication skills. Exposure to banking, finance or insurance will be an added advantage.
Medical Transcription: You must be a science graduate. Listening skills, good written English and typing speed are a must.
Technical Writing/Instructional Designing: A certification in instructional design or technical writing. Many companies are outsourcing content writing to India. Technical writers/ flash designers are also in demand.
Language Specialists: Knowledge of a foreign language such as German, French, Spanish and now Japanese, is in demand.
-------------------------------------------------------
Training for the job
If you aspire to join the BPO sector, get used to the idea of rigourous training and assessment at every juncture(sometimes before you join, after your join and when you get promoted!).
Typically, fresh recruits undergo three to six weeks of intense training to improve their communication skills and understand the process they will be working in. Be prepared for highly interactive sessions, animated instructors and constant feedback.
Moving up the ladder
Ankit Sharma (name changed) started out as a voice agent two years back, now works as a Subject Matter Expert (SME). "I joined a team where agents who know different languages help customers through chat and e-mails. Today I'm training the 28th batch," says Ankit.
Typically, an SME's role includes training agents in the process, process reengineering projects, managing people (partly), SLA Compliance, customer interaction and knowledge management. Team leadership within operations, is the next step, if you have leadership qualities and good process understanding.
Typically, a team leader at Infosys' BPO manages between five to 20 people, and one can reach this position in four years' time.
"You need maturity of leadership and domain knowledge. From here on you can move into Operations Management. Initially when the industry started, we focused on voice and low end data processing as the focus was on cost and labour arbitrage. But today it has shifted to value-adds by offering end-to-end solutions.
"Hence, your job profile could have you directly dealing with clients, looking at solutions for the client and even people management. For instance, you could even become Client Operations Head or Solutions Design Head," says Raghavendra.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Self-learning tools
Several top BPOs provide additional tools for learning. For instance, IBM Daksh and Convergys have extensive online self-learning programmes with courses on domain areas such as finance or telecom, as well as self-improvement modules such as team management and assertiveness.
Moving beyond operations
An agent can also move into other key departments such as Recruitment, Training and Quality.
"Training and Quality are part of the same umbrella. However, a quality evaluator is someone who will listen into calls. Every agent's calls are reviewed each week in terms of compliance, following the proper protocol, voice etc, and they received feedback," says Tim.
Agents with a flair for training can at some point embrace the role of a trainer (also referred to as facilitators). Some trainers find takers outside the industry. For instance, NIIT Uniqua, which conducts BPO training has several trainers who started their careers in a BPO outfit.
Lateral movement is common in many BPOs through Internal Job Postings (IJP). "At Convergys, people have moved back and forth between departments. The transitions are fluid, functions are closely knit and tenures at the company are getting longer," says Ashutosh Sinha, director, India Recruitment, Convergys.
The KPO landscape
Postgraduates and those with professional qualifications find opportunities in KPO units, which are essentially BPO units that offer high-end services, which in turn demand specific skills. For instance, the Infosys BPO hires those with a Master's in Statistics and a Master's in Economics to do 'Statistical Modeling and Analytics' for clients.
"We also hire CAs, CFAs, MCom degree-holders, lawyers and MBAs for HR, Solution Design and pre-sales," Raghavendra shares. KPOs in India offer a variety of services, but the largest chunk comprise Legal Process Outsourcing (LPOs).
Getting ahead!
And it does not stop at KPO. As Raman Roy says, we have just scratched the surface. The domestic market is yet to be tapped in a big way. Opportunties for efficient service delivery for domestic customers abounds and the exisitence of more than 30 companies in the last few years vouches for the untapped potential.
Another important area is the non-voice rural BPOS. And between them these two new segments might grow at a much faster clip than conventional BPOs.
"We are always looking for people who will take the initiative to go out and learn," says Tim who has also mentored and several trained several agents in the course of his BPO stint. He adds with enthusiasm, "And if you want to get ahead and don't know where to look I would be very happy to have that conversation with you!"
--------------------------------------------------------------
How you can get in
If you think that working at a Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) or a Knowledge Processing Operations (KPO) company is all about play and little work, you may to have to think again. Agreed, some years back, the industry was viewed as a place for fun and some quick money. That, however, isn't the whole story. Now that the Indian as well as the global economy is recovering from recession, the industry is back on its feet and is on a hiring-spree.
Not just about calling
RPO
MBPO
ESO
ESO
Eligibility and personality traits
It isn't easy entering a BPO industry, though. It is an exhaustive process that includes both written and verbal tests.
General Aptitude Test
Most players in the BPO industry administer an aptitude test as part of the selection process. For example, the GAT (General Aptitude Test) at IBM Daksh is a web-based test. It comprises multiple-choice questions on analytical reasoning, numerical reasoning, grammar test, computer test (technical/ semi-technical).
The verbal tests include free speech round where the candidate is assessed for language proficiency, the ability to articulate thoughts, rate of speech and listening and comprehension skills.
For Transaction Processing and KPO-related jobs the selection process is slightly different. The selection process covers written function test, panel interview for checking subject matter, taking help of Subject Matter Experts (SMEs)and an HR interview to check if the candidate will fit in with the company's culture, says Praveen Kamath, Global Head of Talent Acquisition, Wipro BPO.
He adds that for some of the critical and high-end financial services requirements there is an additional round of discussion/ interview with the client to ascertain the fitment. For inbound and outbound voice-based jobs for international and domestic markets, recruiters look for a good voice and articulation of thoughts, says DP Singh, director, HR, IBM Daksh.
Other qualities recruiters look for include communication skills, grammar, proficiency in English, managerial and operational skills with leadership qualities and a strong sense of discipline. In addition, reasonable level of understanding of the domain goes a long way in helping the individual settle in quickly once he/she joins, says Kamath of Wipro BPO. Adaptability, points out DP Singh of IBM Daksh, is also important to succeed in this industry.
"Recruitment avenues or channels we tap for recruiting employees includes employee referrals, walk-ins, advertisements, campus, job fairs, portals and our channel partners." says Singh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back end process
Graduate/ diploma-holder equivalent to graduates from any discipline with good typing skills.
Voice Process
Graduate/ PGs/ diploma holders equivalent to graduates from any discipline. Engineers from other streams like Civil,
Agricultural are also considered.
Technical Services
Graduate/ PGs/ diploma holder's equivalent to graduates from any discipline. Preferable BCA. Graduates/tech diploma rngineers from mainstream (Software/Computers). Engineers from other streams like Civil, Agricultural are also considered.
Advice to candidates
Prepare well for the interview, be truthful with the responses and be professional in your demeanour. Do carry along all your academic documents and you should be able to substantiate the details provided in your CV with all necessary proof.
At the time of interview, you would be expected to carry documents as part of joining formalities. These may include educational documents, previous work experience documentation, photo ID proof, photographs for internal use, PAN card, and identity and address proof (passport or passport application).
And remember, once the training starts, avoid taking leave. "You miss one day, your batch moves on and you are left behind," says Singh. Letter of Intent implies that the candidate has been hired. However, others many insert a clause stating that final recruitment will take place after successful completion of training. Singh of IBM Daksh explains why there is such a condition.
"Training is tough, it demands discipline and focus; not everybody is cut out for a career in this industry." Besides, the training is a huge investment as candidates are trained in communication skills, voice-training, language fluency, accent training, dealing with a tricky situation or an unhappy customer, decision making.
The skills acquired during training are so beneficial that candidates can apply in any industry or sector, he adds. Call Agents or Customer Care Executives who may need to attend both the inbound and outbound calls, which may be technical or non-technical in nature depending upon the expertise of the candidate. They are given their own workstation, a computer and a telephone.
In fact, people keen on joining the BPO industry can seek training in a number of soft skills from BPO training institutes such as NIIT Uniqua, Hero Mindmine and more.
------------------------------------------------------------------
The general view is that jobs in BPO organisations are just about making phone calls with very few career growth opportunities, which isn't true, clarifies Singh. Because of this misperception the industry is unable to attract talented people.
Experts say that the processes and functions in a BPO or a KPO unit are so vast, and growth opportunities immense that anyone keen on a good career can look at joining a BPO or a KPO company. The exposure a BPO employee gets is staggering compared with what an MBA in a Fast Moving Consumer Goods (FMCG) company would get.
You are dealing with international clients, handling various industries such as FMCGs, Finance, Retail, Telecom. With some years of experience and good performance a call agent or a customer care executive can move up the ladder to become a team leader, project leader, project manager, trainer, training manager and so on. In areas such as Human Resource management, technical support, F&A you could become a senior manager drawing a package similar to a senior manager in retail or automobile industry.
Besides, there are plenty of in-house jobs and scope for lateral movement. In fact some companies actively encourage lateral movement of staff. For example, at Wipro, employees also have options to move into other businesses of Wipro like consumer care, infrastructure if they have the appropriate qualifications.
Many BPOs pay for their employees' education programmes. Wipro has a Learn and Earn Options to fast-track employee careers, allowing them to enrol in paid education programmes affiliated to various universities, offering a wide range of courses.
Remuneration
One starts with a minimum salary, which ranges between Rs 8,000 to Rs 17,000 at entry level. A team leader can earn up to Rs 25, 000-Rs 30,000 a month. Of course, those handling international clients are paid more than those handling domestic markets.
Managers and team leaders can get a pay package from Rs 5 lakh to Rs 8 lakh per annum. Other incentives include performance-based bonuses, pick and drop facility, shopping discounts, facilities such as gyms, health centres, subsidised loan schemes and health support and insurance covers covering parents and spouse and children.
The pluses and minuses
The BPO and KPO industry operates in a 24/7/365 framework. Be open to working in varied shifts including night shifts. And regular night shifts do afffect your health. The industry requires very strong customer service orientation. In addition, you must be resilient, flexible and prepared to work in a high performance oriented environment.
The calling jobs can turn out to be repetitive. However, Singh is of the view that this is one sector that allows you to take your career in your hand. And money definitely is good.
Explore the full spectrum of entry-level job profiles for graduates plus jobs that demand specific postgraduate degrees and the scope for career growth!
An agent seated in a colourful cubicle, ears sandwiched between a large pair of headphones, all set to tackle the queries of customers based out of the US -- this is the most popular image associated with the BPO industry.
For a sector that has been around in its current avatar for over a decade in India, the term BPO is still synonymous, for many, with two words -- call centre. So, do all BPO employees answer phone calls?
"First of all we don't use the term call centre anymore, or refer to them as contact centres because there are different
programmes -- the most common being the incoming call by a customer using the phone," Tim Huiting, vice president-Human Resources, Convergys says.
"They respond to customers through e-mail or chat, a growing area right now. You are not speaking but it's a live programme. Some programmes are a blend of a call back to a query, an online intervention, plus someone does research and will then call the customer back "In other words voice is only a component of the industry, albeit a substantially large component. With over 300 big companies, and presence in almost all cities, the sector employs more than a million individuals, with a large posse of frontline staff (known as agents) along with a team of managerial staff.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Who is your client?
A chunk of international clients are based in the US, UK and Australia and include companies in banking and financial services, insurance, healthcare, energy and utilities, manufacturing, communication service providers, retail services and transportation, to name a few.
Typically, agents work in eight-hour shifts, a majority of whom clock in the night shift, due to the time lag, though some in the back office functions also work during the day. For instance, Priya Jayant, senior customer care officer at Convergys, Gurgaon, tackles e-mails sent by customers in the US, relating to their credit cards. She works a day shift. "In the Philippines, the concept of the night shift is much more embraced. For instance, some commercial establishments offer Happy Hours in the morning, because a huge group of people get off work at 5 am. Lots of things in the Philippines are built around the BPO industry," says Tim.
Though the night shift has been a bone of contention, it is an inevitable part of the Indian BPO scenario, and is here to stay it seems.
Stringent background checks, to verify if all information submitted is authentic, is part of the territory since the information handled by agents is sensitive and must be kept confidential.
"We work with NASSCOM-accredited agencies to do background checks on all new recruits. Sometimes recruits lie about companies they have worked with in the past or even try to hide criminal activity," Raghavendra Krishnamurthy, VP and Head HR, Infosys BPO, informs us.
Typically the results come in between 30 and 60 days of joining. So, keep it real. Interestingly, the BPO sector encourages talent from all quarters. Bangalore BPO e-VindhyaInfo's staff comprises 95 per cent differently-abled men and women in the age group of 24-30.
Madhu, a learning & development facilitator at IBM Daksh, is 100 per cent visually impaired, and Amit Jaitley, who despite being afflicted with polio, manages the entire operations of an IBM Daksh centre in Chandigarh. And with the establishing of rural BPOs in villages, rural youth also get on the BPO bandwagon.
The top 25 BPO firms are ranked by consolidating the rankings of industry body NASSCOM and leading IT magazine DATAQUEST that were spread over the last five years (2005 to 2009). We accorded even weights to these two rankings. While NASSCOM ranks 15 firms every year, DATAQUEST lists the best 20 BPOs (DQ listed top 25 and top 40 BPOs in 2006 and 2005, respectively). The firms that figured two times or less in the last five years were ignored as were the firms which appeared only in one publication.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The basic BPO lingo
Get familiar with the sector's popular terminology:
Main actors
Process: Refers to the type of work being outsourced to a BPO
Operations floor: A physical space populated with rows of cubicles and a place of work for the agents and their supervisors. A high security area, cell phones and other mobile devices are banned.
Agent: He/ she is the interface between customer and client, and is responsible for providing resolution, selling products and offering information.
Team Leader: He/she manages a team of 10 to 15 agents. Is responsible for the agent's performance and retention. The team leaders' incentives are tied to the overall performance of their team.
Entry-level job profiles
There are two categories: voice processes require you to interact with clients or customers via phone, whereas a non-voice process does not.
"By virtue of one's age, the maturity level of a graduate tends to be much higher," says Sunder Ramachandran, MD, WCH Training Solutions.
Service Representatives: Interact with customers over the phone. This could range from informing a customer of his bank balance, credit card payment dates, etc. Most customer service profiles do not require any specialised domain knowledge.
Technical Support: A specialised support, which may require a specific degree or diploma.
Hardware Support: Besides being a graduate, you need a diploma in computers. Most companies providing hardware support will train you on their hardware but you need a basic understanding of computers.
Software Support: Requires additional qualifications like MCSE. Some institutes offer courses in C, C++. The jobs in this domain would involve troubleshooting for operating systems.
Network Support: A specialised field, where you need a certificate course in networking. CCNA is a good course that can fetch you a great career in the Network support.
More roles for graduates
Business analyst: A domain-specific KPO profile, it deals with business or financial analysis. Requires specific academic qualifications like mathematics and statistics. Decent communication skills, due to client interaction.
Financial Support Executives: For a banking/insurance support sector, profile, you must be a commerce graduate with good communication skills. Exposure to banking, finance or insurance will be an added advantage.
Medical Transcription: You must be a science graduate. Listening skills, good written English and typing speed are a must.
Technical Writing/Instructional Designing: A certification in instructional design or technical writing. Many companies are outsourcing content writing to India. Technical writers/ flash designers are also in demand.
Language Specialists: Knowledge of a foreign language such as German, French, Spanish and now Japanese, is in demand.
-------------------------------------------------------
Training for the job
If you aspire to join the BPO sector, get used to the idea of rigourous training and assessment at every juncture(sometimes before you join, after your join and when you get promoted!).
Typically, fresh recruits undergo three to six weeks of intense training to improve their communication skills and understand the process they will be working in. Be prepared for highly interactive sessions, animated instructors and constant feedback.
Ankit Sharma (name changed) started out as a voice agent two years back, now works as a Subject Matter Expert (SME). "I joined a team where agents who know different languages help customers through chat and e-mails. Today I'm training the 28th batch," says Ankit.
Typically, an SME's role includes training agents in the process, process reengineering projects, managing people (partly), SLA Compliance, customer interaction and knowledge management. Team leadership within operations, is the next step, if you have leadership qualities and good process understanding.
Typically, a team leader at Infosys' BPO manages between five to 20 people, and one can reach this position in four years' time.
"You need maturity of leadership and domain knowledge. From here on you can move into Operations Management. Initially when the industry started, we focused on voice and low end data processing as the focus was on cost and labour arbitrage. But today it has shifted to value-adds by offering end-to-end solutions.
"Hence, your job profile could have you directly dealing with clients, looking at solutions for the client and even people management. For instance, you could even become Client Operations Head or Solutions Design Head," says Raghavendra.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Self-learning tools
Several top BPOs provide additional tools for learning. For instance, IBM Daksh and Convergys have extensive online self-learning programmes with courses on domain areas such as finance or telecom, as well as self-improvement modules such as team management and assertiveness.
An agent can also move into other key departments such as Recruitment, Training and Quality.
"Training and Quality are part of the same umbrella. However, a quality evaluator is someone who will listen into calls. Every agent's calls are reviewed each week in terms of compliance, following the proper protocol, voice etc, and they received feedback," says Tim.
Agents with a flair for training can at some point embrace the role of a trainer (also referred to as facilitators). Some trainers find takers outside the industry. For instance, NIIT Uniqua, which conducts BPO training has several trainers who started their careers in a BPO outfit.
Lateral movement is common in many BPOs through Internal Job Postings (IJP). "At Convergys, people have moved back and forth between departments. The transitions are fluid, functions are closely knit and tenures at the company are getting longer," says Ashutosh Sinha, director, India Recruitment, Convergys.
The KPO landscape
Postgraduates and those with professional qualifications find opportunities in KPO units, which are essentially BPO units that offer high-end services, which in turn demand specific skills. For instance, the Infosys BPO hires those with a Master's in Statistics and a Master's in Economics to do 'Statistical Modeling and Analytics' for clients.
"We also hire CAs, CFAs, MCom degree-holders, lawyers and MBAs for HR, Solution Design and pre-sales," Raghavendra shares. KPOs in India offer a variety of services, but the largest chunk comprise Legal Process Outsourcing (LPOs).
Getting ahead!
And it does not stop at KPO. As Raman Roy says, we have just scratched the surface. The domestic market is yet to be tapped in a big way. Opportunties for efficient service delivery for domestic customers abounds and the exisitence of more than 30 companies in the last few years vouches for the untapped potential.
Another important area is the non-voice rural BPOS. And between them these two new segments might grow at a much faster clip than conventional BPOs.
"We are always looking for people who will take the initiative to go out and learn," says Tim who has also mentored and several trained several agents in the course of his BPO stint. He adds with enthusiasm, "And if you want to get ahead and don't know where to look I would be very happy to have that conversation with you!"
--------------------------------------------------------------
How you can get in
If you think that working at a Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) or a Knowledge Processing Operations (KPO) company is all about play and little work, you may to have to think again. Agreed, some years back, the industry was viewed as a place for fun and some quick money. That, however, isn't the whole story. Now that the Indian as well as the global economy is recovering from recession, the industry is back on its feet and is on a hiring-spree.
Not just about callingIt is estimated that while 60 per cent of the vacancies are in the calling area or voice-based processes, more than 40 per cent of job opportunities are in non-calling functions.
In other words, BPOs and KPOs have a large number of openings in back-end operations about which only a few are familiar with. So, voice-based interaction is one small part of the functions in a BPO or a KPO company.
Types of KPOs
LPO
Legal Services, focuses on providing assistance to foreign legal service professionals in terms of transcribing, research and case development.
HRO
Human Resources Outsourcing ie, outsourcing functions such as payroll management, training, staffing etc, so that a client can concentrate on their core competency.
Research, especially for biotech companies; Kiran Mazumdar Shaw of Biocon coined the term
MBPO
Medical Business Process Outsourcing
ESO
Engineering service outsourcing ie, product design, research and development and other technical services across sectors like automotive, aerospace, hi-tech/telecom, utilities and construction/industrial machinery.
Educational Services Outsourcing. Good demand for Indian teachers, especially in Science and Maths.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Eligibility and personality traits
Graduates in any discipline are eligible to apply. In some cases, even undergraduates are considered. However, openings in the areas of Technical Support, Human Resource Management, Engineering Designs and Research Outsourcing and Finance and Accounting (F&A) would require professional qualifications such as an MBA, MCA, CA, CFA, Law, PhD, BE/BTech.
It isn't easy entering a BPO industry, though. It is an exhaustive process that includes both written and verbal tests.
Most players in the BPO industry administer an aptitude test as part of the selection process. For example, the GAT (General Aptitude Test) at IBM Daksh is a web-based test. It comprises multiple-choice questions on analytical reasoning, numerical reasoning, grammar test, computer test (technical/ semi-technical).
The verbal tests include free speech round where the candidate is assessed for language proficiency, the ability to articulate thoughts, rate of speech and listening and comprehension skills.
For Transaction Processing and KPO-related jobs the selection process is slightly different. The selection process covers written function test, panel interview for checking subject matter, taking help of Subject Matter Experts (SMEs)and an HR interview to check if the candidate will fit in with the company's culture, says Praveen Kamath, Global Head of Talent Acquisition, Wipro BPO.
He adds that for some of the critical and high-end financial services requirements there is an additional round of discussion/ interview with the client to ascertain the fitment. For inbound and outbound voice-based jobs for international and domestic markets, recruiters look for a good voice and articulation of thoughts, says DP Singh, director, HR, IBM Daksh.
Other qualities recruiters look for include communication skills, grammar, proficiency in English, managerial and operational skills with leadership qualities and a strong sense of discipline. In addition, reasonable level of understanding of the domain goes a long way in helping the individual settle in quickly once he/she joins, says Kamath of Wipro BPO. Adaptability, points out DP Singh of IBM Daksh, is also important to succeed in this industry.
"Recruitment avenues or channels we tap for recruiting employees includes employee referrals, walk-ins, advertisements, campus, job fairs, portals and our channel partners." says Singh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Broad qualifications for recruitment for beginners
Insurance Process
Graduates/ PGs /diploma equivalent to graduates from any discipline. Preferably BCom graduates/ finance background. Back end process
Graduate/ diploma-holder equivalent to graduates from any discipline with good typing skills.
Voice Process
Graduate/ PGs/ diploma holders equivalent to graduates from any discipline. Engineers from other streams like Civil,
Agricultural are also considered.
Technical Services
Graduate/ PGs/ diploma holder's equivalent to graduates from any discipline. Preferable BCA. Graduates/tech diploma rngineers from mainstream (Software/Computers). Engineers from other streams like Civil, Agricultural are also considered.
Advice to candidates
Prepare well for the interview, be truthful with the responses and be professional in your demeanour. Do carry along all your academic documents and you should be able to substantiate the details provided in your CV with all necessary proof.
At the time of interview, you would be expected to carry documents as part of joining formalities. These may include educational documents, previous work experience documentation, photo ID proof, photographs for internal use, PAN card, and identity and address proof (passport or passport application).
And remember, once the training starts, avoid taking leave. "You miss one day, your batch moves on and you are left behind," says Singh. Letter of Intent implies that the candidate has been hired. However, others many insert a clause stating that final recruitment will take place after successful completion of training. Singh of IBM Daksh explains why there is such a condition.
"Training is tough, it demands discipline and focus; not everybody is cut out for a career in this industry." Besides, the training is a huge investment as candidates are trained in communication skills, voice-training, language fluency, accent training, dealing with a tricky situation or an unhappy customer, decision making.
The skills acquired during training are so beneficial that candidates can apply in any industry or sector, he adds. Call Agents or Customer Care Executives who may need to attend both the inbound and outbound calls, which may be technical or non-technical in nature depending upon the expertise of the candidate. They are given their own workstation, a computer and a telephone.
In fact, people keen on joining the BPO industry can seek training in a number of soft skills from BPO training institutes such as NIIT Uniqua, Hero Mindmine and more.
------------------------------------------------------------------
The general view is that jobs in BPO organisations are just about making phone calls with very few career growth opportunities, which isn't true, clarifies Singh. Because of this misperception the industry is unable to attract talented people.
Experts say that the processes and functions in a BPO or a KPO unit are so vast, and growth opportunities immense that anyone keen on a good career can look at joining a BPO or a KPO company. The exposure a BPO employee gets is staggering compared with what an MBA in a Fast Moving Consumer Goods (FMCG) company would get.
You are dealing with international clients, handling various industries such as FMCGs, Finance, Retail, Telecom. With some years of experience and good performance a call agent or a customer care executive can move up the ladder to become a team leader, project leader, project manager, trainer, training manager and so on. In areas such as Human Resource management, technical support, F&A you could become a senior manager drawing a package similar to a senior manager in retail or automobile industry.
Besides, there are plenty of in-house jobs and scope for lateral movement. In fact some companies actively encourage lateral movement of staff. For example, at Wipro, employees also have options to move into other businesses of Wipro like consumer care, infrastructure if they have the appropriate qualifications.
Many BPOs pay for their employees' education programmes. Wipro has a Learn and Earn Options to fast-track employee careers, allowing them to enrol in paid education programmes affiliated to various universities, offering a wide range of courses.
One starts with a minimum salary, which ranges between Rs 8,000 to Rs 17,000 at entry level. A team leader can earn up to Rs 25, 000-Rs 30,000 a month. Of course, those handling international clients are paid more than those handling domestic markets.
Managers and team leaders can get a pay package from Rs 5 lakh to Rs 8 lakh per annum. Other incentives include performance-based bonuses, pick and drop facility, shopping discounts, facilities such as gyms, health centres, subsidised loan schemes and health support and insurance covers covering parents and spouse and children.
The pluses and minuses
The BPO and KPO industry operates in a 24/7/365 framework. Be open to working in varied shifts including night shifts. And regular night shifts do afffect your health. The industry requires very strong customer service orientation. In addition, you must be resilient, flexible and prepared to work in a high performance oriented environment.
The calling jobs can turn out to be repetitive. However, Singh is of the view that this is one sector that allows you to take your career in your hand. And money definitely is good.
CAT 2010: For the first-time CAT taker
One must change one's tactics according to the opponent if one wishes to maintain one's superiority.-- Napoleon Bonaparte
What's applicable in a war scenario is equally applicable to your preparation for the MBA entrance tests in India [ Images ]. Considering the fact that CAT has gone online since last year and many other national tests are expected to follow the trend, each serious MBA aspirant needs to prepare according to the changing needs.
Almost all of us in the Indian education system are used to learning and assimilating information and knowledge in the paper pen-pencil format. This is what we have been accustomed to doing and it is a part of our system of learning since childhood. This has been the norm for the last 15 to 19 years -- from kindergarten to graduation.
Now suddenly, for a high-stakes all-India test like CAT, you are expected to perform in front of the computer screen. This entails not only looking at the computer screen for those 135 minutes but also ensuring that you are able to concentrate and perform under pressure.
You will need to have transitioned from the comfort of taking a test on paper to scoring well in an online format. And this transition is not merely of being comfortable with a computer screen, a mouse and a keyboard. You need to be comfortable reading passages on the screen, solving data interpretation caselets, pie-charts, bar graphs, diagrams etc on the screen.
This means you can no longer do calculations on the paper beside the question, mark all the keywords in the passage, and a whole host of other question-solving techniques that you were so very comfortable doing earlier on paper. The new medium calls for a new approach.
Last year, a lot of students believed that they could master the online CAT by taking merely a few mocks in the online format. This belief led them to continue practicing the basics, concept and chapters -- the very foundation of their preparation -- from a book. They took chapter-level concept tests, section-level module tests and other mini tests also in the paper-pencil format. And 8 to 10 weeks before the actual CAT, they began taking online mocks. A majority of those realized that:
All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
- Buddha
Essentially, the habits they had developed during their basic preparation of concepts worked beautifully for a paper-pencil test. But it started irritating them, slowing them down and eventually reducing their overall scores and percentiles in the mock tests. Some of them were able to overcome the issue but a lot of them couldn't really make a transition in the last few weeks to the online CAT.
As a serious IIM aspirant, do ensure that you change your preparation strategy not only according to the contents of last few years' test patterns but also according to the new medium. The online CAT requires preparation online.
It is crucial to practice your theory, chapter tests and section tests on the computer screen. Develop a habit of concentrating and practicing with a keyboard and mouse. You will slowly and steadily see a difference in your comfort and thereby scores and percentiles by the time you seriously get into the mock test taking mode.
For those of you who have already started practicing on paper and pencil and finished a substantial amount of concepts, do remember:
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.- Maria Robinson
TestFunda.com is a site for personalised online preparation for competitive entrance exams like CAT, FMS, XAT, etc.
'Facebook chat came out of a hackathon'
Sandip Roy
Twenty one million Indians access Facebook across the world. So does Aditya Agarwal. But he logs in from inside FB's HQ in Palo Alto, reports Sandip Roy.
My father, a civil engineer, always complained that he could never go to a party without someone wanting to pick his brain about how to fix a leaking roof.
"That's what happens when you are in profession that really affects everyone," he would say ruefully.
Aditya Agarwal has a similar problem.
He doesn't build houses. Agarwal is a director of engineering at Facebook.
With 500 million users around the world, Agarwal can hardly go to any social event without hearing someone's pet peeve (or brainwave) about Facebook.
"But I don't mind it," says Agarwal. "It means that people are using it."
In a way that is why Agarwal joined Facebook about five years ago. It already seems an impossibly long time ago. He was one of the first handful of engineers there. Facebook had about one million users then. Agarwal, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University, was just coming off a stint at database giant Oracle.
"Oracle's a fantastic company but it was not my cup of tea," he says. "I wanted to be much, much closer to the consumer." On Facebook when he designs a feature, millions of users will use it the next day. As they say on Facebook he "likes" that.
Agarwal grew up around computers. He says he got his first one when he was 11 and has been fascinated with them since. He also says he wanted to work in computer science because it still had a little bit of the wild frontier about it. "I wanted to work in a field where everything has not been solved yet," he says.
The problem that Facebook was created to solve is deceptively simple.
"We thought it would be an easy way to express identity on the Internet, express a connection between people," says Agarwal. "This was a fundamental human need that was not being done well on the Internet."
Some would say it still does not get done well. Is it really "communication" if friends think they are up-to-date with their friends' lives because they follow their status updates on Facebook instead of having coffee with them in the real world?
"All communication is complementary to each other," replies Agarwal.
"We are not replacing face-to-face communication. We are augmenting it. So the next time you meet, you already know a lot more about each other."
Something like Facebook probably would have been perfect for Agarwal when he was growing up. Though born in Dhanbad, now in Jharkhand state, he didn't spend much time in India. His father's job took them around the world from Cameroon to Singapore, from Indonesia to China.
His formative years were spent in Jakarta and Singapore where he was even part of the under-14 cricket team. "[All the moving] was a little difficult but I loved it too," says Agarwal. "You had to learn to make friends quickly. Luckily I always had my brother."
But it was a lifestyle that was tailor-made for the Facebook generation where friends can keep in touch without the limitations of geography and time zones. "It did prepare me for the global lifestyle we lead now," says Agarwal. "For example, I have no qualms about eating anything."
In Silicon Valley, which prides itself on privileging ingenuity over stuffy protocol, Facebook has become especially iconic. It's always wanted to be the nimble company that has its ear to the ground. Perhaps that was why it was somewhat taken aback by the fierce criticism it faced recently over its privacy settings.
"Negative feedback can be difficult," admits Agarwal. "But even within Facebook we do have rigorous internal debate. And we don't always reach consensus. Users are not always happy with our decisions. But we do have one principle -- it will be good in the long term."
With a user count above 500 million and growing, many of them really passionate users, Agarwal knows it's easy to set off a firestorm. But he says as a director his job is to figure out how to "scale up without losing our soul".
So to join Facebook, being able to write solid code is just the "minimal requirement". "We are looking for people who have gone beyond that," Agarwal says. "Maybe they have done open source projects. We are looking for curiosity."
On his own Facebook page he has a quote from Einstein. 'We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.'
While most companies give new engineers training manuals to read for their first week, Facebook gives them a challenge. "We tell (them to) within one week make a change that is visible on the site," he says.
The aim is to try to keep that entrepreneurial 'can-hack' spirit they had in the early days.
Facebook is famous for its all-night 'hackathons' where engineers can work on something that's not part of their daily job for twelve hours. It's a party atmosphere fuelled by a lot of Red Bull. But the goal is to find the 'next big idea'. "And if it's good we will launch it," says Agarwal. "The early version of Facebook chat came out of a hackathon."
Agarwal himself has his fingerprints all over the Facebook page. He worked on much of its initial infrastructure -- the news feed, Facebook ads, the search engine. He explains that Web-based search engines didn't cut it for Facebook because they are not tailored for who you are.
"Google does not know who is searching," he says. "But we know when you are searching for someone, you are probably looking for a friend, a co-worker, someone who went to the same college. So our search needed to be based on the unique user, perhaps looking for the person who has maximum number of friends in common."
But while all this makes for great Powerpoint presentations at tech conferences, the fact remains that Facebook has become bigger than just technology. It's become a part of our cultural zeitgeist, people write books about its impact on how we interact with each other. Users have withdrawal symptoms when they haven't "facebooked" in a while.
It's also made Facebook engineers, especially its young founder Mark Zuckerberg, celebrities in their own right.
When Zuckerberg went to India to attend Agarwal's wedding, their photographs landed up on Gawker. Agarwal laughs embarrassedly and says luckily they were not mobbed by paparazzi.
"That would have been awkward," he says. But now there is a feature film about Facebook scheduled to come out soon. "We haven't thought too much about it," he says. "We try not to be focussed on the celebrity."
Is his character in the film? "Oh, I hope not," he says, sounding genuinely taken aback.
Twenty one million Indians access Facebook across the world. So does Aditya Agarwal. But he logs in from inside FB's HQ in Palo Alto, reports Sandip Roy.
My father, a civil engineer, always complained that he could never go to a party without someone wanting to pick his brain about how to fix a leaking roof.
"That's what happens when you are in profession that really affects everyone," he would say ruefully.
Aditya Agarwal has a similar problem.
He doesn't build houses. Agarwal is a director of engineering at Facebook.
With 500 million users around the world, Agarwal can hardly go to any social event without hearing someone's pet peeve (or brainwave) about Facebook.
"But I don't mind it," says Agarwal. "It means that people are using it."
In a way that is why Agarwal joined Facebook about five years ago. It already seems an impossibly long time ago. He was one of the first handful of engineers there. Facebook had about one million users then. Agarwal, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University, was just coming off a stint at database giant Oracle.
"Oracle's a fantastic company but it was not my cup of tea," he says. "I wanted to be much, much closer to the consumer." On Facebook when he designs a feature, millions of users will use it the next day. As they say on Facebook he "likes" that.
Agarwal grew up around computers. He says he got his first one when he was 11 and has been fascinated with them since. He also says he wanted to work in computer science because it still had a little bit of the wild frontier about it. "I wanted to work in a field where everything has not been solved yet," he says.
The problem that Facebook was created to solve is deceptively simple.
"We thought it would be an easy way to express identity on the Internet, express a connection between people," says Agarwal. "This was a fundamental human need that was not being done well on the Internet."
Some would say it still does not get done well. Is it really "communication" if friends think they are up-to-date with their friends' lives because they follow their status updates on Facebook instead of having coffee with them in the real world?
"All communication is complementary to each other," replies Agarwal.
"We are not replacing face-to-face communication. We are augmenting it. So the next time you meet, you already know a lot more about each other."
His formative years were spent in Jakarta and Singapore where he was even part of the under-14 cricket team. "[All the moving] was a little difficult but I loved it too," says Agarwal. "You had to learn to make friends quickly. Luckily I always had my brother."
But it was a lifestyle that was tailor-made for the Facebook generation where friends can keep in touch without the limitations of geography and time zones. "It did prepare me for the global lifestyle we lead now," says Agarwal. "For example, I have no qualms about eating anything."
In Silicon Valley, which prides itself on privileging ingenuity over stuffy protocol, Facebook has become especially iconic. It's always wanted to be the nimble company that has its ear to the ground. Perhaps that was why it was somewhat taken aback by the fierce criticism it faced recently over its privacy settings.
"Negative feedback can be difficult," admits Agarwal. "But even within Facebook we do have rigorous internal debate. And we don't always reach consensus. Users are not always happy with our decisions. But we do have one principle -- it will be good in the long term."
With a user count above 500 million and growing, many of them really passionate users, Agarwal knows it's easy to set off a firestorm. But he says as a director his job is to figure out how to "scale up without losing our soul".
So to join Facebook, being able to write solid code is just the "minimal requirement". "We are looking for people who have gone beyond that," Agarwal says. "Maybe they have done open source projects. We are looking for curiosity."
On his own Facebook page he has a quote from Einstein. 'We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.'
The aim is to try to keep that entrepreneurial 'can-hack' spirit they had in the early days.
Facebook is famous for its all-night 'hackathons' where engineers can work on something that's not part of their daily job for twelve hours. It's a party atmosphere fuelled by a lot of Red Bull. But the goal is to find the 'next big idea'. "And if it's good we will launch it," says Agarwal. "The early version of Facebook chat came out of a hackathon."
Agarwal himself has his fingerprints all over the Facebook page. He worked on much of its initial infrastructure -- the news feed, Facebook ads, the search engine. He explains that Web-based search engines didn't cut it for Facebook because they are not tailored for who you are.
"Google does not know who is searching," he says. "But we know when you are searching for someone, you are probably looking for a friend, a co-worker, someone who went to the same college. So our search needed to be based on the unique user, perhaps looking for the person who has maximum number of friends in common."
But while all this makes for great Powerpoint presentations at tech conferences, the fact remains that Facebook has become bigger than just technology. It's become a part of our cultural zeitgeist, people write books about its impact on how we interact with each other. Users have withdrawal symptoms when they haven't "facebooked" in a while.
It's also made Facebook engineers, especially its young founder Mark Zuckerberg, celebrities in their own right.
When Zuckerberg went to India to attend Agarwal's wedding, their photographs landed up on Gawker. Agarwal laughs embarrassedly and says luckily they were not mobbed by paparazzi.
"That would have been awkward," he says. But now there is a feature film about Facebook scheduled to come out soon. "We haven't thought too much about it," he says. "We try not to be focussed on the celebrity."
Is his character in the film? "Oh, I hope not," he says, sounding genuinely taken aback.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Egypt: The Pyramids, Sphinx and the river Nile
--by utkarsh
Ever since I first learnt of the ancient Egyptian civilisation back in school, I have had the desire to visit Egypt. More recently, as kids started learning about Egypt, I decided to visit this rich and ancient land with my family.
And so we embarked on our journey. I was told about the bakshish (the same word that we use in India) culture and paid a lump sum to the travel agent together with the advance, to be used for tipping at each place we visited.
As our plane approached Cairo, I looked out and noticed mud-coloured multi-storeyed buildings in the middle of the desert. Compared to vibrant Rajasthan, this monochromatic sight was curious; later, I learnt that plastering the exterior of buildings attracts more tax there.
It being October we were expecting pleasant climate, but it was mostly warm but tolerable.
Our first evening there, we went to see the light and sound show at the Pyramids. Now while we have seen images of them on television and in books, seeing them in person makes you realise just how imposing they are! We enjoyed the show and returned the next day to have a closer look.
On our second trip, we reached late having encountered a traffic jam worse than Bengaluru's infamous traffic snarls. Ay one point our driver even had to drive in reverse about a hundred meters to take another, circuitous route to escape the jam. This route provided us a glimpse of the actual city (off the tourist route) which was more or less similar to parts of any Indian city ie strewn garbage, open gutters and donkeys wandering about.
And while our journey offered many wondrous sights, all through we were told (on several occasions) the history of the polytheist Pharaohs followed by the advent of Christianity and then Islam.
As we travelled we realised the many similarities between India and Egypt. Like India, Egypt has a long, rich history (on a few occasions I found myself correcting my guide as he started mixing up AD and BC while talking about the Romans in Egypt). Pharaoh art and fables are also similar to ancient Indian mythology -- full of nature, animals and birds.
Our next stop was King Tutankhamen's tomb (discovered in the Valley of Kings at Luxor), which is showcased at the Egyptian Museum. This museum is mammoth and provides fascinating information on a host of topics including the process of mummification and hieroglyphs (So fascinated were my kids with the hieroglyphs that we were forced to buy an Egyptian-style family nameplate).
All around are shops selling oil-based perfumes (attar), each having its own unique fragrance and some even resembling popular international fragrances. Wearing perfume is a very old tradition here and is seen in many Pharaonic paintings as well.
We then visited the high-security Khan-al-Khalili market, in Cairo. Having witnessed terrorist attacks a few times in the past, heavy security was present at every hotel with every bag being scanned.
Near the market stands the impressive Al-Hussein mosque that was built some thousand years back and named after Prophet Mohammad's grandson Husayn ibn Ali.
Amr ibn El-Aas, an Arab conqueror, brought Islam to Egypt and a mosque was built (the oldest in Egypt) at the spot where he is supposed to have camped. The Muhammad Ali mosque and Al Azhar mosque are also worth a visit.
The next day we travelled to the old sector of Cairo, also known as the Coptic part of the city. Remnants of the ancient Roman wall and the Babylon Fortress, dated a few centuries BC, can be seen today. Interestingly, Babylon is just the name of the fortress and has nothing to do with the actual city of Babylon, which is in present-day Iraq.
We then visited the Hanging Church, named so because it was built above a fortress gate with its nave suspended over the passage. Onwards to the Abu Serga Church where Jesus Christ, as an infant, came to live with his parents. In the same complex, stands the Ben Ezra Synagogue, which was once a church. Coptic Christians sold it to the Jews to enable them to pay taxes to the Muslim rulers. The Jews later converted it into a synagogue.
Later that evening, we boarded for a cruise along the river Nile. The reflection of the many coloured lights together with shows on the cruise completed our day; however, the gyrations of the belly dancer were a bit too much for our young family.
We left Cairo early the following morning to beat the traffic on our visit to the Suez Canal. After a brief stopover, we proceeded to Alexandria. This is the city where the story of Cleopatra and her famous love affair with Mark Antony took place. Alexandria is certainly the Pearl of the Mediterranean -- it is beautiful and entirely different from Cairo, being more Mediterranean than Middle Eastern.
A new library stands near the old one, overlooking Mediterranean, which was inaugurated recently. It is very modern, spacious and worth a visit.
Next we went to Pompey Pillar, the name is a misnomer because for long people believed it to carry the Roman General, Pompey's, ashes, but finally, it was learnt that, it was built in honour of a Roman emperor. Near the Pillar lie the Catacombs that have underground chambers adorned with beautiful paintings and carvings. This are quite different from the ones I had seen in Rome; they were built for the burial for the ancient Egyptians and not for deceased Christians as in the case of Rome. Also the size of this catacomb is smaller than Rome's.
We took a flight from Alexandria the next day for Luxor. En route we were greeted with a view that will stay with me forever. A huge canvas with a blue stripe down the centre between green patches that in turn gave way to golden on either side in the midst of a golden desert, the blue waters of the Nile flowing through green vegetation along its banks. I wonder why they did not choose these colours for the Egyptian flag! The city of Luxor is an open-air museum as every nook and corner is full of history. We first stopped at the Valley of Kings, the burial grounds for quite a few generations of Pharaoh. They chose this style of burial since the Pyramids were very visible and prone to be robbed. There are a number of tombs but only a few are open to visitors. Each tomb has a few chambers that are adorned with paintings and carvings. All the
valuable articles that were once housed here have
been shifted to different museums.
Next we stopped at the temple of Queen Hatshepsut, who is said to have dressed like a man so as to rule Egypt. Nearby, we could see the Colossi of Memnon, two huge statues, located in an open field and quite damaged.
The Temple of Karnak, around 3,500 years old and built over a period of thousand years, was our next stop and was certainly a very impressive one. The lighting arrangement and painting on pillars, columns and ceilings are amazing, but the most important is its hypostyle hall, which is famous for its architectural masterpiece. It has a sacred lake too, just like any Hindu temple.The Temple of Luxor followed. In ancient times, festival processions used to start from Karnak and finish at Luxor. We spent half a day touring Luxor (though one can spend couple of days there) and boarded a train to Aswan the same evening.
We reached our hotel (situated on an island in the Nile) by boat. In one day, we travelled from Alexandria to Aswan and took four modes of transportation -- air, car, train and boat. Sadly we did not take the famous Nile river cruise, since the kids had to attend school.
We got up very early the next morning to join the convoy of vehicles to Abu Simbel. Since this part of Egypt is not safe for road travel, tourists have to travel in a convoy under police protection. It was a unique experience to cover 280 km in around three hours driving through the desert with no traffic interruptions.
We reached Abu Simbel, bordering Sudan. Thanks to the construction of High Dam at Aswan some 40 years back and the formation of Lake Nasser in Nile, the temple was transferred to a nearby safe location. The temples (actually there are two) are very beautiful and certainly worth the effort to reach. These were built in the thirteenth century BC. The first one was built by the Pharoah Ramesses II and the second was of his wife Nefertari, both dedicating each to different gods.
We returned to Aswan by afternoon and visited the High Dam and unfinished Obelisk. The trip was rounded off by a felucca ride on the Nile. The ride gave us time to reflect on all we had seen.
Similar to Asian culture, the joint family concept is predominant in Egypt too, where sons build a new floor to their parental house, if they could afford to. We wondered whether the economic growth would shift them to a nuclear family. It might not, as Egypt's population is smaller and there are only a few big cities which are still meeting their needs.
Back home now, we still recollect fondly our visit to the centre of one of the greatest ancient civilisations.
Utkarsh Rai [www.twitter.com/utkarshkrai], based in Bangalore, is the managing director of an IT multinational firm, an author and a globetrotter.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Good story .. Heart touching
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, “What is this?â€
The Son replied “It is a crowâ€.
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?â€
The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crowâ€.
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,
What is this?â€
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crowâ€.
A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, “What is this?â€
This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?â€
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-
“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent childâ€.
While the little child asked him 23 times “What is thisâ€, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So..
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.
They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society todayâ€.
Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
Thanks for spending ur time on reading this story…… Hope U r forwarding this to all ur friends…
[Funny] Indian history by a Schoolboy
Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period.They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand. So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag. Recently in India, there have been a large number of scams and a plaque,it can be dangerous because many people died of this plaque in Surat. Scams are all over India. One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.
[funny] Acme Airlines Gripe sheet
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some maintenance problems submitted by ACME pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Corporate Lessons - Short Funny Stories with good morals
Corporate Lesson 1 -
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give
you $800 to drop that towel.� After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was
that?� “It was Bob the next door neighbor,� she replies. “Great!� the
husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?�
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining tois finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give
you $800 to drop that towel.� After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was
that?� “It was Bob the next door neighbor,� she replies. “Great!� the
husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?�
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.
———————–
Corporate Lesson 2 -
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?� The priest removed his
hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?� The priest apologized
“Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.�
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?� The priest removed his
hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?� The priest apologized
“Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.�
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.�
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.�
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
———————–a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3 -
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.�
“Me first! Me first!� says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the a world.� Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!� says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.� Poof! He’s gone.
OK, you’re up,� the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want
those two back in the office after lunch.�
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.�
“Me first! Me first!� says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the a world.� Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!� says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.� Poof! He’s gone.
OK, you’re up,� the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want
those two back in the office after lunch.�
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
———————–Corporate Lesson 4 -
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A Rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?�
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.� So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
day. A Rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?�
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.� So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.
———————–you must be sitting very high up.
Corporate Lesson 5 -
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree,� sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.� “Well,
why don’t you nibble on my droppings?� replied the bull. “They’re packed
with nutrients.� The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
the top of that tree,� sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.� “Well,
why don’t you nibble on my droppings?� replied the bull. “They’re packed
with nutrients.� The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullcrap might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there.
———————–but it won’t keep you there.
Corporate Lesson 6-
Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!�
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, “Son, what happened last night?�
His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door�.
Totally Confused, Rohit asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!�
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , “hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I’m married!�
MoralBreakfast — Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover — Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture — Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
secret revealed: How to recharge ur mobile for free
Recharge ur phone every month freely by following this process
Please follow the instruction & you can recharge your SIM card
absolutely free.
Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians
fool.
absolutely free.
Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians
fool.
I just got a mail from a friend of mine, whose friend is B.Tech.(ETC)
from IIT Powai, teaching me how to reload my hand set every month for free.
Engineered by a group of rebel programmers. I am going to share this to all of you.
from IIT Powai, teaching me how to reload my hand set every month for free.
Engineered by a group of rebel programmers. I am going to share this to all of you.
Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it:
Applicable for ORANGE (HUTCH), AIRTEL, TATA, SPICE & BSNL users only ,sorry
for idea, BPL and Reliance users and it is done illegally of course. But there
are many things that are illegal in this world. But then who cares. Don’t worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this. So go ahead without worrying.
for idea, BPL and Reliance users and it is done illegally of course. But there
are many things that are illegal in this world. But then who cares. Don’t worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this. So go ahead without worrying.
You can only do this every 24th & 25th of the month as the network system is
under upgrade.
under upgrade.
1.) ** Dial ” 1415007 ” using your h/phone and wait for 5 second
2.) ** after 5 second, you will hear some funny noise (like sound from TV when the station is finished)
3.) ** Once the noise stop, immediately dial 9151 follow by your phone number
4.) ** A recorded message “please insert your pin number” will follow
5.) ** punch in the pin number ” 011785 45227 00734″ and wait for the operator finish repeating the above pin number.
6.) ** After the pin number has been repeat, dial ” 0405-for AIRTEL, 404 -for ORANGE (HUTCH)” . 403 -for BSNL”
7.) ** you will hear a message “for air time top-up press 1723″ you just have to follow the instructions.
8.) ** After you follow the instruction, the noisy sound will re-appear for about 5 second.
9.) ** once the noise stop, dial ” 4455147 ” follow by ” 146 “.
10.) ** after about 5 second, dial ” 1918 ” after 3 second dial ” 4451″.
11.) ** after you done that, punch in the serial number “01174452271145527 ” you will hear dial tone.
12.) ** once the dialing tone stop, dial ” 55524785933 ” you will hear “please
key in your password”
key in your password”
13.) ** the password is ” **** 2+253+7891*+546322 ” wait for the message “your
password accepted”.
password accepted”.
14.) ** you will hear ” please insert your emei number ” now you have to be fast
to dial your own h/phone number.
to dial your own h/phone number.
15.) ** you will hear a dialing tone, when the call is answered, dial “1566 ” and you will hear “re-confirm emery number”.
16.) ** once you hear that message, dial ” 6011556 2245334 follow by your h/phone number”.
17.) ** after a while, you will hear a message “your pin number is accepted” you
have to dial ” 1007 “.
have to dial ” 1007 “.
18.) ** after you done that you will hear “your emery number is accepted”.
19.) ** continue dial ” 4566 ” you will hear “your password is accepted”.
20.) ** once the second message finish, immediately dial your own h/phone number.
21.) ** Now you will receive a message saying ………..
“NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS WORLD, . SO, GET BACK TO WORK AND DON’T WASTE
TIME !!”
TIME !!”
Dont search 4 me to kill me, I’m busy hunting down the one who sent
me.
me.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Teachers Day:Teacher who made a difference
She didn't make maths my destiny but an easier path
to cross to reach the destiny.
into the world of poetry and literature. How I detested the
term maths. I am sure there must be thousands like me. Huh! I can
see those curved lips that say ' I join your troop'. To worsen the
situation I had a Maths teacher who was just too good in her
knowledge but she did not know how to grasp students like me
into the web of 'maths knowledge'.
I remember the day when I got my maths answer sheet with theleast marks in the class. I couldn't tell it to my parents nor hide it
for long as my mom was a teacher in the same school. I tried to hide it in every nook and corner just to see my mom digging it for one or the other
reason. I was so scared of the whole situation that I and my
friend suffering the same crisis even planned to run away from
home. So, the bags were ready and so were some food for the
unknown destiny. We decided to meet at a certain bridge in the
evening and then run to never step back to the hours of Maths
torture. I wrote a few letter note to parents and hid it under the
pillow. However something drew me back and we canceled the
whole idea and return back home after two hours of
wandering. Until I reached mom had already found the letter. She
hugged me and cried. This gave me a signal that I will not be
beaten up for those one digit marks.
My mom as a teacher new what I was going through I suppose.
She knew that I was in need of a teacher as well as friend who
would guide me through the muzzled path of numbers. She
found one after few days.
I still remember my first visit to her house. A huge garden with a
huge dog at the entrance was waiting to welcome me with
furious barks. When I saw the dreadful dog I just taught the
teacher would be another pestering person in my life just
to worsen the situation. I was wrong. I met a fine lady with
broad smile that could make me relax the very moment. The angel
(as I usually call people who make a difference in my life)
walked in clearing all the muzzled path into a defined destiny. She
made the whole number world a beautiful paradise. How I loved
her. Years rolled by and I passed out from my school with
flaunting colours. She didn't make maths my destiny but an
easier path to cross to reach the destiny. Then I moved to
Bangalore for my graduation. I made a point to visit the
beautiful lady whenever I returned home.
Two years back, I participated in a marathon for cancer patients. I
didn't have a specific reason for the act, just that I wanted to be a
part of a cause on a jobless weekend. So I and my other two
friends ran nearly 5 kms. After the event I called mom to tell her
all about the event. I was thrilled about the whole experience. I
niched every detail from the time we started and ended with a
huge music festival in Cubbon Park (one of the Bangalore's
park). My mom did not say a word, but just sighed and said, “
its so weird you ran for a cause that made your favorite teacher
breath her last. Your Maths tution teacher died two days back due
to Cancer". I didn't say a word.
Hung the telephone and ran to bed to cry till twilight.
I have lost her. But before she bid goodbye, she did make a
difference in my life and many others like me. Truly a teacher
can make or break you. And I have experienced both. On the
occasion of Dr. Radhakrishnan birthday this story is a tribute to
all the teachers who made a difference in number of innocent
hearts unconditionally. Happy Teachers day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)