Ramayana by Bill Gates...
(funny)
When Bill Gates was in India,
he had a chance 2 listen
Ramayana from Vajpayee.
After returning 2 US he wrote
it in his personal Diary which
has been recently found
(courtesy PTI). These are
excerpts from his diary:
Ramayana by Bill Gates...
LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of
I/O-dhya, there ruled a
PROCESSOR named DOS-rat.
Once he EXECUTED a great
sacrifice PROGRAM after which
his queens gave an OUTPUT of
four SUNs - RAM, LSIman, BUG-
rat and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a
MICROCHIP with excellent
MEMORY. His brothers,
however, were only
PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when
RAM was only 16MB, he
married princess C ta.
12years passed and DOS-rat
decided to INSTALL RAM as his
successor.However,Queen CIE/
CAE(Kayegayee), who was once
offered a boon by DOS-rat for a
lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took
this opportunity at the
instigation of her BIOSed maid
and insisted that her son Bug-
rat be INSTALLED and that RAM
be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest
for 14 years. At this cruel and
unexpected demand, a SURGE
passed through DOS-rat and he
CRASHED like unstable version
of AI MSN does in intel.
RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest
and C ta insisted to LOGIN with
him. LSI-man also resolved on
LOGGING IN with his brother.
The forest was the dwelling of
SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR
of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-
ka. Attracted by RAM, she
proposed that he should marry
her. RAM, politely declined,
perceiving C ta to be his
SOURCE CODE. She hastened to
kill her but LSI-man cut her
inportant PERIPHERALS.
Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to
LAN-ka, where RAW-van,
moved by TRAN-SIS TOR s
plight, approached his uncle
MAR-icha. MAR-icha
REPROGRAMED himself to form
a golden stag and drew RAM
deep into the forest. Finally,
RAM shot the deer, which, with
his last breath, cried out for
LSI-man in voice of RAM s
SOUND CARD. Fooled by this
VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C ta
urged LSI-man to his brother s
aid. Catching the opportunity,
RAW-van DELINKED C ta from
her LIBRARY and changed her
ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.
------------------------
INTERVAL-------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
--
RAM and LSI-man started
SEARCHING for the missing C ta
all over the forest. They made
friendship with
the forest SYSTEM
ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry...
SU-greev and his powerful co-
processor Ha-NEUMAN. who
agreed to help RAM. SU-greev
ordered his PROGRAMMERS to
use powerful SEARCH
techniques learnt in CS130 to
FIND the missing C ta. His
PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED
allaround the INTER-
NETworked forests. Many tried
to EXCITE the birds and animals
not to forget the
WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and
tried to INFOSEEK something
about C ta. Some of them even
shouted YAA-HOO but they all
ended up with NO FOUND
MESSAGES Google, Lycos
nothing was left untouched.
The only thing they forgot was
to mail iitcse01 & get PTI s
help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised
a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used
it to cross the seas at an
astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon
Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED
himself into LAN-ka. Ha-
NEUMAN
found C ta under a brown -
green (as Brahma will call it)
TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN
used the LOGIN ID (ring) to
identify himself to C ta. After
DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta
asked him to send STATUS_OK
MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS
around C ta captured Ha-
NEUMAN to DELETE him using
everything including
Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN
spread chaos by spreading
VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN
pressed ESCAPE from LAN-
kaand & conveyed all the
STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and
SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to
take RAM head-on. One of the
RAW-wan s SUN almost
DELETED LSI-man with a
Brahma -astra. But Ha-NEUMAN
resorted to some ACTIVE-
Xgradients and REFORMATTED
LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE
CODE secrets of RAW-wan and
wiped out RAW-wan s
presence on earth. Later, RAM
got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and
spreaded his USER FRIENDLY
PROGRAMS to all USERS and
everyone lived happily ever
after, playing & enjoying AOE.
Please take t